We all want to be somebody different. We all look up to someone we would like to imitate. There is so many people, me included, that feel inadequate, not good enough.
All what we want is to be better, improve ourselves. No wonder why self-help books abound in the New York Times’ list of Best Sellers.
The truth is that very few of us do something about it.
But what could be do? Can we just change ourselves automagically?
Well you can improve yourself if you want it really badly, if you feel enough pain.
It all starts by knowing what we want to change, what is it that we want to improve. There are lots of personality traits to work on and we need to focus. Focus. Focus. Focus.
It is not precise enough to say I want to acquire more good qualities and get rid of my imperfection. The key is to know what we want to acquire.
You need to define good and bad personality traits. And Warren Buffett has a great and simple (I love simple solutions) way of figuring out who you want to be.
As an example imagine you want to be more likable. This is, that people want to be around you, that they talk positively about you when you are not there. You want other to associate with you. This is to be a likable person.
Take 5 of your friends or people you deeply admire and describe what is the most prominent personality trait that you like about them. Is it that they listen well? Maybe they think first how to help you instead of their self interest? Are they positive in most situations? Why is it that you feel good when you are close to these people?
Write down their qualities of the people you like. This is what you want to acquire to be more likable.
Now take people you dislike, those that you have a bad gut feeling, those that you don’t want to hang out or make business with. Why is it that you don’t like this people? They don’t keep their promises? Do they look down on others? Are they energy suckers? Do they never speak up their mind? are they trying to be friends with everybody, thus making you not to feel special?
Write down the traits of those you dislike. This is what you want to get rid of to be more likable.
It’s like switching your to-do and not-to-do lists, for a to-be and not-to-be list.
If you exercise enough the good personality traits, and remove the negative ones, you will turn into a much more likable person.