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How To Identify A Social Media Douchebag

How To Identify A Social Media Douchebag

Nowadays everybody wants to be a social media expert, a social media manager, a social media marketing guru, a social mediaaarrgghhh!!! Enough, I got sick of so much crap going on in Twitter and other webz.

Let me say this with a haiku I wrote in

You are passionate,

social media manager,

a fucking douchebag.


What is a douchebag?

Urban dictionary defines douchebag as

An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth,compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.

A Social Media Douchebag uses colorful but empty words.

Well, originally they were not empty, but because so many people use them, they lost their punch.

Let’s check some real examples I found. This is the sort of B… people write in their bios for Twitter or when guest blogging. When you find this, you know you identified a social media douchebag, run for your life!!

  • “She’s about making a difference while taking passionate, authentic action”

I apologize if I made you puke, but this had a high concentration of regurgitating material. “making a difference”, “passionate, authentic action” … fine, but what’s your job?

  • “Professionally, she writes and inspires on her trailblazing blog”

Damn right, I would buy anything inspiring, specially if it is promoted in a trailblazing blog.


A social media marketer douchebag uses “calls to action”

Because remember, they are marketers, so they sell stuff, inspiring stuff.

  • “Go out there and do great stuff”

This morning I did a great turd, does it count?


A social media douchebag connects with people


  • “People can relate to what I out our there”

Moving away from the scatology this time, of course people relate to you, you are stupid!!! They feel comfortable reading you, they don’t feel stupid with you around.


How to fix this?

It certainly hurts your eyes when you see those key words “guru”, “expert”, and the like. Ryan Plesko wrote a priceless Greasemonkey script that replaces all these keywords by their real meaning, DOUCHEBAG. Thanks Ryan!!


If despite reading all my bile acids, sorry, words, about social media gurus you still want to become one, you can learn everything here, or at what the fuck is my social media strategy.

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